Sleep habits start forming at a very early age
When our little ones can’t fall asleep we help them get there by using all sorts of tools and methods like sleeping in our bed, feeding to sleep, rocking, walking, driving, using white noise, carriers etc.
If you think about it, they didn’t need our help in the womb as they could supply themselves with every need. In this brand new world, they rely on us to keep them safe and supply all basic needs like changing a nappy, feeding or regulating their body temperature, until they gradually become able to do these things independently.
Sleep is something we’ve taken upon ourselves to help them with too, something that’s taking their independence away even though they are born with the ability to do so from day one.
Lacking sleep independence can affect other aspects of life, like the ability to learn, socially engage and explore the world. A child who can’t fall asleep independently may have lower self esteem, experience more fears and separation anxiety as they will expect their parents to handle life’s challenges for them.
Think of falling asleep as the ability to let go and lose control. It’s a space we can enter when mastering physical relaxation while letting our minds wander, reflect and process the day we’ve had. Learning how to soothe our body and mind teaches us how to lose control – something people with sleep problems usually dread.
How can we help them learn independence in sleep and other areas in life?
- Reduce stress and anxiety by creating a good day routine to help them know what to expect
- Help them slow down and get into night mode with a good bedtime routine
- Hand back control by allowing them to confront new situations even if they feel frustration while learning from trial and error
- ALWAYS be there when they need you. It’s crucial to let them try and figure life out in their own time, but always be there to support and strengthen them to encourage their sense of safety and security
You know how life works, but they will only find their own special way if you allow them space to build independence.
